This picture collage is just a few snapshots I took around our house. These pictures describe healing to me. They describe peace, grace, thankfulness, patience and strength.
You see after Mike died I was given book after book to help me deal with my grief. I was invited to widow therapy groups, bible studies, and different retreats. I was encouraged to journal. I was told exercising and being outdoors would make me less depressed. I was told to keep myself busy and I won’t be as sad.
Indeed these were all very good suggestions and advice. All from people who truly cared about me, my healing and were only offering support.
For me, none of this really helped. I tried them all, over and over. Finally, after about a year or more my therapist really drilled into me that I need to do something for myself and I needed to do this regularly. I couldn’t take care of my boys the way they needed if I wasn’t taking care of myself. The hard part of this was that I didn’t know how to do that.
Crafts, decorating and DIY projects have always been a hobby of mine. Boy did I have so many plans for our little farm house. I knew it would take a very long time but I was going to turn that old house into something that Johanna Gaines would be proud of. Well at least that was my wish. We all know those hopes and dreams literally floated away.
Once the boys and I were in our rental home and settled a little more I was able to decorate a bit, but no where near what I would have loved to do to that house. It wasn’t mine. I couldn’t paint or remodel the kitchen. So with what I could do I tried my best to make that home as homey, comfortable and safe as possible for the boys. For a year that was exactly what it was. Our little haven away from everything.
Yet, I still wasn’t doing anything for me. I still hadn’t found my mojo of what really would work to help to calm me, clear my mind, re focus me, re energize me, shake off some of that depression and sadness.
Until we bought our home we are living in now.
David and I searched and searched for the perfect house we were going to begin our last chapter in. We made offers on a couple houses that we thought were perfect yet we kept getting out bid. Finally, God led us to the house we are in now. Everything fell into place perfectly and here we are making this house a home for our family.
I have finally found my happy place, my calm, my peace and my own therapy for me.
I love decorating our home. When the kids are in school and David is at work I often turn on music and enjoy decorating or even cleaning. There is something about making this beautiful home ours with my own Johanna Gaines stamp on it that makes me happy. From the paint colors to the furniture to the décor on the walls it makes me happy.
Over the last couple weeks I’ve been having a hard time with depression taking hold of my son. And of course that is going to affect his mama as well. Decorating for Halloween and fall has kept me sane. It has calmed me on days when my own depression creeps in because I worry about him.
It’s sounds so simple. Do a craft + paint a chalkboard + put out some seasonal décor = happy April, happy mom and happy wife but it really does.
So all this to be said… it took a long time for me to find something that I can do for myself that helps me heal. Almost seems silly that this is what it is, but our new home is really where I find my rest and peace. Now I wish it would have been found in exercise and working out because I really could be benefiting from that as my jeans seems to be getting a little tighter, but oh well.
Do something for you this week. Anything at all. Find something that gives you a little spot of peace in your life. A little bit of rest and a whole lot of comfort.
