It’s been a while since David and I shared more of our story. In the last post, David shared the story of our engagement. It was pretty much a scene from the movies and any girl’s fairy tale come true. He really out did himself and completely surprised me. If I didn’t already think I was head over heels for this man, he continued to prove me wrong. My love for him grew so much more the night he asked me to be his wife and it keeps on growing with each day.
Okay, enough with the sappiness. What happened next?
Next, it was time to tell our 4 kids the exciting news. I was excited to get back home to my boys after our amazing evening. Once they woke up in the morning I couldn’t wait to tell them the news. I knew my oldest was somewhat aware as to what was going on because David told me he had talked to him about it. I just assumed all would be great and they would be just as excited as I was.
I was wrong.
My oldest son saw my engagement ring on my finger as soon as I woke up before I could even tell him. He immediately pointed to my ring and said, “What is that?!” I excitedly began to tell him about the previous night. He cut me off, yelled at me, left the room and slammed the door. His little brother followed suit.
I was completely caught off guard. Change had been hard for them for obvious reasons, but I was certain that they would be just as ecstatic as I was when it came to this change. They loved David, had already bonded with his kids and everything was going great.
We had a yelling match, with many tears, that lasted quite some time. I was beyond sad and confused. After we all calmed down I finally got it out of my oldest as to why he was so upset. He was mad that he wasn’t there. What?! All that craziness and that was his issue? All of the sudden I could breathe again.
That same day David told his son and daughter the big news. They approved of their dad’s decision and were excited. Now that the word was out to the kids we could share our news with our family and close friends.
The closest people to us were ecstatic. They knew how far we both had come. They knew our relationship was built on Christ. They knew we had made each decision with our children in every forethought. They saw the sparkle back in both our eyes and knew at this point in our lives we were made for each other.
When you have an amazing support system like we do, who are our biggest fans and prayer warriors, their blessings were more confirmation to me that I was taking my next steps in the right direction.
Did I have any worry or fear… heck ya! It took a little while for me to be okay with sharing our news publicly. I was still in that spot where I was worried about judgement from others. Will they think I don’t still love Mike? Will they think we are moving too fast? Will I be looked at as selfish and not doing what was best for my boys? Will they think David is crazy for taking on the three of us? I could go on and on about what my worries and fears were about others opinions.
Once again, working through my feelings in therapy, through prayer and guidance from our biggest supporters I was able to shake those feelings. Yet people still felt that way and still voiced their opinions to me and unfortunately, behind my back as well.
I lost my husband at age 33. He was my first and only love, my best friend, the father of my children, my future, my provider, my everything. Never in a million years did I think he would ever be taken from me before we were 90. The days and the year following his death I never thought I would ever love again. I really thought my life was over and my future was gone.
When you experience something as sudden and traumatic as I did your whole perspective on life, and even love, changes. I viewed the world, the boys’ and my life, and what God’s plan was for us through a completely new and very different lens. And unless someone has experienced and gone through the exact tragedy that I had to go through then there is no way they will truly understand the choice I made to say yes to this amazing man who is the love of my life here on earth, now. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that marrying David was exactly what God had planned for the boys and I. Even more so, I knew that Mike would approve. That’s all that mattered to me!!
This time around the wedding planning would be very different. When Mike and I got married at 21 my big church, Cinderella wedding dreams were all fulfilled. Complete with a horse drawn carriage waiting for us outside the church thanks to my Dad. To me, at that point in my life, our wedding was perfect.
Fourteen years later I didn’t really care to be Cinderella, have 250 guests at our wedding, have over 20 people in our bridal party or really make a big fuss about anything. I only cared to walk down that aisle with my boys on either side of me to David and his kids waiting for us. I couldn’t wait to promise to love and cherish him for all the days of my life. I just wanted to begin our last chapter together with our blended family of 6. I knew the rest would all fall into place and it did even more so than I could have imagined.
The planning began and the first step was to find our location. We knew we wanted something small, simple, outdoors, and preferably in a country-like setting. We looked at place after place close to the area where we lived. Nothing felt right.
Then, on a visit to see my parents in Nevada, we spent a day sight seeing and I showed him all around my old stomping grounds. That’s when we were sitting enjoying a glass of wine at a beautiful location where I actually worked in high school. It didn’t take long before we both knew this was it. We had found the place where we would become husband and wife.
