In the words of Robert Frost, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It Goes On.”
This is one of the hardest realizations to come to terms with after you lose someone you love.
Your life must go on.
It didn’t seem like a possibility to me. A life with Mike as the love of my life was the only life I knew since I was 18. When his life ended I thought mine did too.
It took me well over a year to even begin to come to terms with those three words… it goes on. It wasn’t an easy feat because that life of mine that needed to go on was not the life I knew. Everything was different, new, completely out of my comfort zone, scary, lonely and sad.
I was also too worried about trying to please everyone else with the decisions I made in my life and trying to keep them comfortable instead of trying to please myself. It took some time for me to be able to let that go and focus on myself, my children, our happiness and our lives that had to go on.
I am the person who knew Mike best. I know without a shadow of a doubt that making the decision to live a life of happiness here on earth without him would be exactly what he would want and not only for me, but for our boys too. After God, I was his greatest love and I know that he wouldn’t want anything more than for me to continue to feel that great love like he once gave me.
If I wouldn’t have chosen life after death I would have missed out on a second great love. A love that is so pure, patient, passionate and beyond precious.
It’s a love that is never taken for granted and always appreciated because I know first hand how quickly it can be taken away.
So like everyday, today I appreciate the love of my life right now.
I have said this before in previous blog posts… Mike was the love of my life, David is the love of my life right now.
Today we get to celebrate David because it is his birthday. We get to spoil him a bit today and give him some fun gifts.
But really… I celebrate him everyday because he is one of my greatest gifts. I am the one who feels like it’s my special day because if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be living. I wouldn’t have believed in those three words… it goes on.
He has helped me to remember, to cherish, to never forget the life I once lived, the love I once had all while living this life that has gone on with him, my love right now.
Happy Birthday, David! Thank you for giving me the most beautiful life that continues to go on.
Our FIVE kiddos and I love you so much!
