The blog has been a little more quiet lately. Partly because we were in Hawaii for a week and then took a trip to Tahoe, but mostly because of LIFE. I’ve been a busy wife and mom of four lately.
Sometimes my mind also needs a little break and a recharge.
I really enjoy taking time for myself to read other blogs. Blogs written by other widows have obviously been what I gravitate to more to over the last couple years.
There is one particular blog that I follow called One Fit Widow. She also lost her husband at a young age and their two young children lost their daddy. She eventually fell in love again and married a man who she refers to as her “husband on earth” and her kids call him their “dad on earth.” I could name post after post of hers where I have felt like she is writing my exact life at times. Often she writes what is on my heart, yet I haven’t been able to put it into my own words.
Recently, she wrote about her husband on earth and the amazing father he is to her children. It made me cry. I felt like I was reading something I could have written about David, my husband on earth.
Click here and read her blog post titled, Raising Children You Didn’t Create.
Her heart in this post is honest and raw. Just as she expresses her heart about her husband on earth raising her children, I share the same heart about David and my own boys.
David wasn’t there when I shared the exciting news with my family both times I found out I was pregnant. He wasn’t there through the pregnancy scares I had with both boys. He didn’t hold my hand during both of my births of premature babies. He wasn’t the one that rocked those tiny baby boys to sleep or comforted them when they got hurt as toddlers. He wasn’t there for their first birthdays, first days of kindergarten, to see them catch their first fish, or when they threw their first strikes on the baseball mound.
From the very beginning of our relationship he clearly saw the way my boys adore their dad. David came into our lives at a time when the boys’ grieving stages were really at their worst. Yet, he was never intimidated. He never thought these two broken boys would be too much. He never gave up on them.
And he has always known that he has big shoes to fill.
He is the dad he doesn’t have to be.
David has been there for a first day of middle school, for first ocean fishing trips, to coach their baseball teams, to cheer on the boys at their first flag football games, and to give girl advice.
The dad he doesn’t have to be.
He will be there for their first heartbreaks, high school sports games, graduations, weddings, births of their children.
The dad he doesn’t have to be.
He has and will be there for everything Mike, their dad in heaven, can’t be there for. That is a lot of pressure. He does it with such strength, patience and devotion. Mike only got to be their dad on earth for 10 years. David, Lord willing, will not just double that or even triple it. He may very well be their dad on earth for the next 50 years or more.
The dad he doesn’t have to be.
I still struggle in my heart and through my grief as I wrap my head around the idea that David will father these boys longer than Mike ever got the chance to. I look at the last pictures we have of Mike with the boys and I see how much they have changed. I barely even recognize the little boys in those pictures. They are growing into these young men that are soon going to pass me in height, and have deep voices and will be in high school before I know it.
One of the things I love most about David is the way he fathers our boys with the utmost respect and honor for Mike. As I continue on in writing more about my story I look forward to sharing the special and very emotional moments of our wedding that David created for the boys in order to honor their dad.
My boys are not the only ones who have been blessed with an amazing man who came into their lives and unselfishly became The dad he doesn’t have to be.
Stay tuned for Part Two…
