Carrie Underwood is one of my favorite artists. She recently co-wrote a song titled “Cry Pretty”. The words of this song are about a woman who is holding back her true emotions and tears. Eventually, she comes to the point where she can’t do that anymore and she has to embrace it all.
I first saw this song posted in a law enforcement widow group I belong to. The conversations began and like so many of these other women, I could relate to the words in this song.
I remember telling a girlfriend, in the months after Mike died, that I could be one amazing actress because I was putting on a show.
Most of the time I even felt like I didn’t have any other choice but to hold it all in and push forward. I worried too much about what others thought. I didn’t want anyone to know how I was really doing. Not even my family or closest friends. I didn’t want to make others feel uncomfortable if they saw me so sad and heartbroken.
I was dying inside. I was lost. I felt like I was drowning and my head just kept bobbing up for little gulps of air. I didn’t want to keep treading water to stay afloat. It was exhausting and my body was weak.
So many of us face this same battle and struggle. We have trained ourselves to keep our emotions in check and to be strong. We don’t want anyone to know what we are really going through. We put up a facade to make others think that everything is okay.
My prayer is that you are able to find a sense of peace when you are going through a difficult time or struggling with emotions. Try not to hide them.
Let those emotions out. Tell a friend or family member. Some of my best therapy sessions were talking through my emotions with my best girlfriends. As the song says, “falling apart is as human as it gets”. Express it, own it and then pick yourself up and you’ll be stronger than before.
Maybe someone you know is struggling with trying to cry pretty and keep it all together. Be there to let them ugly cry. Ugly cry with them. Be the therapist they need. Try not to judge or give unsolicited advice. Listen, love, laugh, support and pray. I promise, it’s the best medicine out there.
“You can’t cry pretty, but you can cry bravely and make the comeback of a lifetime while you’re at it.” ~Carrie Underwood
