*What I wish I would have known before the day I lost my husband*
Dear 33-year-old April,
You think you have it all figured out. God in the center of your life, career you love, healthy and active children, married and still so in love with your college sweetheart, beautiful property to build a dream home, vacations planned, amazing extended family… the list could go on.
But girl, you don’t really have it all together, as you think you do. Life is fragile. Life is short. Life is precious. Life will throw you a curve ball you never saw coming.
Sometimes, life plain sucks.
Even though you see your life now as your own little fairy-tale come true, I want you to focus on more. I want you to be thankful for more. I want you to embrace more.
I want you to plan ahead even when it is awkward, difficult and sad.
Never hold a grudge. It’s not worth it. Don’t get worked up about the little things, because in the end, they really don’t matter. Soak in every fun activity, relaxed day at home, new adventure, sports game, date night, camping trip, as if it were your last.
Stress less and pray more. Spend more quality time with your family. That laundry, stacks of papers to grade, emails to respond to, house to clean… can all wait. Nothing will be more important to you than the memories you make with the ones you love.
You won’t remember that your dishes were always done right after dinner, but you will remember that night you let those dishes sit and instead you played a 3-hour game of Monopoly with your perfect little family of four.
You won’t remember that your house was always tidy, but you will remember forgetting all the chores for the day and getting outside with your family for a hike, a dirt bike ride, a fishing trip, a beach day or even just a relaxing day at home with your husband and kids, watching t.v.
Make time for your husband. Not only sit on the couch together at the end of the busy day and watch your favorite show together time. Make quality, thought out, romantic, adventurous, kid free, alone time.
And tell your husband everything that you’ve always thought about him and do it daily. Tell him he’s one good lookin’ son of a gun. Tell him you are proud of him, tell him thank you, tell him you love him so much you feel like your heart could explode, tell him he is an amazing father, and always, and I mean always, kiss him good-bye before he goes to work.
One thing, young wife, that won’t cross your mind and it will be hard to do is to prepare for the worst.
Sit down with your husband, and, with all joking aside, talk about what would happen if tragedy were to strike your family. Don’t put off finishing that will you started because it takes so much time or is too expensive.
Discuss your last wishes and what you’d want your spouse to do with the rest of their life without you. Get your finances in order; make sure you both know how to pay all the bills and what bills you have, share your passwords, update your life insurance and accounts often. It won’t take long to do these things.
Make a list, check it off one by one, then tuck it away and go about your fantastic little life you have created with the man you love.
And one more thing, April, know that no matter what challenges God brings your way, He has full control and He will pull you through. There is no storm you cannot weather with the Lord by your side.
