Dear Mr. 14th,
I want to start by letting you know that I am a pretty nice person. My mom and dad taught me manners and I use them. I try my best to follow the golden rule. I forgive easily and I would say I am pretty laid back. Sounds cliché, but I really am a lover, not a hater… except when it comes to you.
You see, Mr. 14th, I hate you. I despise you. I know I have been really mean to you over the years and I’m not sorry. I don’t really plan on being nice to you anytime soon.
Why do you make me so emotional even before you even show up? Then when you get here I get so mad and wish you would just go away. It’s like I can’t even focus. I can finally take a deep breath after you leave, but I know you are just going to come back. I know you are going to sneak your way back in and get under my skin once again like you always do.
I often try to ignore you, yet you won’t leave me alone. It’s like you haunt me, you creep up on me and sometimes it’s when I least expect it. Many times you do a damn good job and I’ve noticed that your ninja skills have definitely improved.
Last week you were mean. Last week you showed your ugly face too many times. You made me cry. You made me angry. You made me overwhelmed and you down right pissed me off. You made me irritable and extra sensitive. It’s not cool.
One would think that after seeing you 27 times that I would get used to you by now. One would think that after you came around that many times I should be able to just ignore you. One would think that I should be able to just get over you by now and move on. One would think….
I can’t. I’ve tried.
More often than not I am minding my own business, full of joy and happiness and you have to sneak around the corner, tap me on the shoulder and say in your ugly voice, “I’m back!”
This last visit you came early. I saw you coming. I was expecting you. I was ready to face you head on, but once again I lost. You defeated me. You took all of my energy and just plain wore me out. I didn’t realize it was your fault at first. You have done a good job at brainwashing me. You make me think that I am crazy at times. I thought I had my handle on you and was ready for your visit, but I wasn’t. I hate that I was defeated by you yet again.
I feel like this constant battle with you is never ending. I also feel like you are really good at hiding so no one else can see you. Sometimes I want to scream and tell everyone that it’s all your fault! It’s your fault that I am overly sensitive. It’s your fault that I get overwhelmed! It’s your fault that I get so mad.
Mr. 14th, if I were you I would start preparing yourself. This girl is a fighter and she is going to kick your ass if you try anything sneaky with me again.
With all of this said, maybe one day we will be able to get along again. I hope my feelings toward you will change. It may be on your next visit or maybe after 27 more visits.
I know that you have come and gone this time and I will pick myself up like I always do. I will regain my strength and get ready for our next battle.
(dis)Respectfully,
April
