Sadness
Pain
Tears
Heartache
Just a couple of the words that come to mind when we think of grief. Naturally, we associate grief with negativity.
There is so much more that comes with grief. So much good. It just has to be found.
Love
Wisdom
Patience
Hope
These words don’t typically come to mind when we think of grief.
Love. There is a deeper feeling of love that you gain from losing a person you loved so dearly. A deep down in your bones kind of love. A love for those people in your life that will never be diminished or taken for granted. A love that is expressed openly with words, actions and touch each and every day because you know first hand that any day could be yours or their last.
Wisdom. There is an increased sense of wisdom that is gained through grief. In many cases there are so many decisions that need to be made. Whether it be medical, financial, or personal there is a feeling of doing what is best for yourself, your family and what your loved one would have wanted or approved of makes for more methodical and wise outcomes.
Patience. There is a new understanding that comes with grief and how you view others who may be struggling that brings on an extra bout of patience. You understand that many people hide their grief or troubles internally which can cause for irrational outward actions. Being patient in your reactions comes from being in a similar circumstance yourself. More patience with your loved ones is also gained. You learn to not sweat the small stuff, which makes for a more laid back and patient attitude.
Hope. When your world crumbles there is a low point when you think you are never going to be able to put together all the broken pieces. Yet, as you do there is a hope that slowly begins to shine through. You see how far you have come and confidence starts grow along with a sense of optimism. There is a new attitude of hope that can help you fight when the days get hard.
It’s very important to recognize the good stuff, the growth that comes out of grief. It’s also very important to understand that this a choice. The choice has to be made to find the good in grief. It’s not easy, natural or even ideal in our society. Grief is associated with darkness, but there can be so much light that comes and shines brightly through all those broken pieces that are slowly being put back together.
There are more times than I can even mention where I felt like I wanted to give up. My grief had completely taken over and I never thought anything could be good in my life again. I realized that there was no way I was going to work though my sadness, pain, tears and heartache on my own. God couldn’t heal my broken heart unless I gave him all the pieces. I had to make that choice to want the good and the growth that could come from my grief. I had to make that choice to find love, patience, wisdom and hope any where I could in my life. To find the good in grief.
“It is so much easier to let God heal your broken heart than trying to do it with your own ability and strength. It’s not your job. Jesus is the healer of broken hearts.” -Modern Day Ruth
