I follow the blog Second Firsts written by grief educator Christina Rasmussen. Recently, I read her latest blog post, We Already Know How to Eat, Sleep and Be Alone. It got me thinking. I think I now know why this quarantine time seems familiar, this social isolation, this unforeseen amount of time solely at home.
It’s because I’ve been here before.
It’s not my first isolation. Yet, I’m just now realizing that an isolation is what it was
During this time I couldn’t leave the house and not even for essentials. If I were to turn on the news it would be news report after news report of my situation. Social media was flooding with pictures and articles about what was happening. My kids and I stayed home with little social contact unless it was absolutely necessary.
This isolation went on for almost a year.
It wasn’t a result of a pandemic. It was the result of my husband being suddenly and tragically killed.
That is what grief can do to you. Grief can cause a person to hibernate, to isolate themselves. It’s too hard to be around people, to go out and run your errands, to go to work, to take your kids to school and sports. Everything you normally did in life is now a challenge that hurts too bad to attempt to face.
Right now everyone in our country is in isolation. We can’t be around people, can’t run errands unless they are essential, can’t go to work and can’t take our kids to school or sports. Everything we normally did in life has come to an abrupt halt.
This is what it is like when someone you love unexpectedly dies. Suddenly, life as you know it just stops in its tracks with no warning.
Even though I feel like I’ve been here, done this, it’s different this time around. It’s still an isolation, but one that doesn’t consist of deep depression and a broken heart. This isolation, although caused by a terrible and scary situation is actually creating the down time I needed.
Albeit, it definitely can be frustrating to be forced to comply to a shelter in place order, it can also be a blessing in disguise as well.
I often feel like I’m pulled in so many different directions trying to be a mom/bonus mom to five kids, drive the older four to and from three different schools, shuttling kids to and from sports practices and games, constantly trying to soothe a colicky baby, keeping up with the chores at home, be a good wife to my husband on earth, keep in touch with my friends and family.
I think we all feel this way at times though, not just me.
My pastor’s message on Sunday’s online service was to challenge oneself to use this time to reflect, to re-center your relationship with Christ, to spend quality time with your family, less internet, less social media. We don’t want to look back on this isolation period where we are pretty much forced to take a break from our busy lives with lots of down time and have it be time wasted.
It may not be that easy for some to try to enjoy this isolation period. It might be scary, cause worry, create financial challenges, cause family strife, be lonely and even create a state of depression or grieving “normal” life.
I do not have any magical solutions to help make this time easier for those who are struggling. Yet, what I do have is experience in feeling scared, worried, alone, depressed and grieving a life that was instantly taken from me. Most importantly, I have God’s grace and His Word to give me hope.
This passage from 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 shared by my pastor is spot on with all that is going on in our world right now.
“So we are not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it looks like things are falling apart, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than what meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.”
I can say with full faith and confidence that what we are going through now in this world is small in comparison to the good times God has in store. Really, this goes for any trial we may face, not solely for the loss of a loved one or a global pandemic. Whatever your personal struggle may be, big or small, when it seems as if everything is falling apart. Please know that it won’t last forever. Joy is coming.
I know, I’ve been there, I’ve been here before. God always remained faithful to me with His unfolding grace each day. He had big things in store for my boys and I, a lavish celebration.
He has the same plan for you. Don’t give up. Cling to that grace, rely on that faith and trust that we will all make it through these uncertain times stronger than ever.
