He used to throw all his dirty clothes on the floor right in front of the laundry hamper. It would make me so mad. I would tell him, “I thought you were a basketball player. How come you can’t even get your clothes in the basket?” When we were first married I went as far as not washing his clothes that were on the floor when I would do laundry to try to prove a point. That didn’t go over too well when he was in police academy, it was inspection day and he had no clean uniforms. For the next 12 years of our marriage his clothes never made it into the basket.
He often played basketball on Tuesday mornings before his shift with a group of guys from work. He’d throw his sweaty clothes into his gear bag after he went to work to shower and change into his uniform. Days later when he would remember he would empty that bag onto his pile of dirty clothes right in front of the clothes hamper. It would stink up our whole room and linger down the hall into the living room. I would gag, he would laugh and I would get so irritated. I would tell him to just put it in the washing machine… along with all those clothes on the ground. He never did.
He always got the boys super hyper before bedtime on his nights off. Most nights he worked so it was just the boys and I. We had our nightly bedtime routine down. Our routine was calm and I always had the boys tucked into bed on time. On the nights he was home it was crazy. He would wrestle with the boys, get out all the legos or cars and make a mess in their bedroom building towers or making race tracks. He would take them outside after they had already showered to play basketball, go ride dirt bikes on our property or to shoot gophers with their pellet guns. They would get dirty all over again. The boys would be wound up and crazy. I would get so frustrated that the boys were up past their bedtime and that they were extra hyper when I would try to tuck them in for bed. He continued to do it any night he was home.
One morning I walked by that pile of clothes on the floor next to the laundry hamper that his basketball skills couldn’t get in, I scooped them up and put them in the basket. Then it never happened again.
I eventually had to go clean out his locker at work. His gear bag was in it. I opened it up. I gagged, then I cried. His sweaty Tuesday basketball clothes never made it home.
One evening I heard laughter and yelling from the boys’ room due to a wrestling match with their dad, I stepped over lego towers and cars to tuck my once clean, now dirty, hyper boys into bed way past their bedtime. The two of them never got a night like that again.
If I only knew…
If I only knew there would be a day that I’d have no more of his dirty clothes scoop up I wouldn’t have cared about the piles on the floor.
If I only knew his Tuesday morning basketball games with his buddies were limited I wouldn’t have been so annoyed about three day old sweaty clothes that eventually made it home to smell up our room.
If I only knew he wasn’t coming home that next evening I would have never broken up the wrestling match and made the boys go to bed.
Now I know…
Now I know that tomorrow isn’t promised. Now I know that life can change in an instant. All the little things that can be frustrating throughout the day may become some of the fondest memories.
Let me tell you that I am constantly in need of my own reminder.
I now find myself getting onto my oldest son for his pile of clothes on the floor in his room and an empty clothes hamper right next to them. I’m trying to teach him responsibility and help out his future wife someday, but I also have to shake my head and laugh a little each time I walk into his room and tell myself, it’s not a big deal. Be thankful he’s healthy, he’s doing well and he’s here. I do often tell him though, “I thought you were a basketball player. How come you can’t even get your clothes in the basket?”
Then there is my youngest son whose smelly baseball uniform can always be found on the floor in his bedroom. Again, I shake my head, giggle, then yell at him to put it where it belongs. Then I have to tell myself, it’s not a big deal. Be thankful he’s healthy, he enjoys playing sports and being active and he’s here.
And when their dad on earth wants to join in the video game playing fun before bed and they all stay up a little later than normal getting all excited about their Fortnite battles I smile inside and let them enjoy the fun. I tell myself, it’s not a big deal. Be thankful for this amazing man God has brought into our lives and who treats my boys like his own. The dad on earth my boys so desperately needed and are so blessed to get to be raised by. Their dad on earth who is active in their lives, takes care of them and he’s here.
Cherish today. Every part of it. The laundry piles, the stinky clothes, the messed up bedtime routine. Cherish every part of the mundane and the routine.
Tomorrow is never promised.
If I only knew what I know now I would have hugged him more when he got home instead of complaining about the laundry.
If I only knew what I know now I would have encouraged more crazy, dirty, late school nights instead of having them come to an end in order to stay on my routine.
Spend time together, be patient with each other, don’t sweat the small stuff, hug often, always kiss goodbye and say I love you every single chance you get.
